The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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