left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
