he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you had me at cake vodka
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
