The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
