Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Fuck appropriateness.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
