I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Life is so much better after having sex.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will be naked everywhere
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
