So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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