i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
