i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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