clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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