he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
