i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
