My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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