He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
