The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
you never un-have a 4some
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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