you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
