The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize