Your dad touched me again.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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