there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
