I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
