Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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