At least make sure they are 18
Why
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
