the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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