You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
