I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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