I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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