so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
