i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
