and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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