Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
