Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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