Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
