are you still at the devil's house?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize