Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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