I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
