Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
