he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
