It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize