You're so nebulous sometimes
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
soo... how was my night?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
