her vagine was all disorganized.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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