So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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