I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize