Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
