pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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