Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
