How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize