I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
