you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
