We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
