yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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