WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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