You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
