Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
