It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can you bring me the toilet please
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
