Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
