He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
