My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
