I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
