It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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