we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
