i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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