I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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