can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
