I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
