why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
