she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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