i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
