Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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