Me too!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize