I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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